Stepping Out (side)
April 12 th brings another step forward. Travel overnight is allowed if self contained and in family groups. Hospitality opens outside though groups are supposed to be 6 or 2 households only.
Paul and I finally visit our tiny cottage in far flung Norfolk. It is cold and desolate. Abandoned through necessity for 4 months it looks sad and neglected. Thankfully everything restarts without a hitch. There is work to do to restore everything to pre lockdowns glory but we have breathed life into it once again.
Most importantly, time at last for the longed for reunion with Norfolk "contingent", my son and his wife and two wonderful wee girls. It has been months. I last saw them on a beach in early December and I have missed them so much.
This time we meet up without the lurking fear that marked our brief Dec gathering. Then the rapidly increasing Covid infection rate hung over us all like a pall.
Now the infection rate is @9 per 100,000, deaths nationally are down in single figures some days and hospitals have spare beds everywhere.
Legally we must still socialise outside and avoid contact. However, in practice, freed from fear, everyone I know, including myself, has compromised. Staying outside, yes, but feeling free to play, to touch hands, free to relax and be happy.
Since my last post my relationship with my grandchildren here is relaxed again, more frequent visits have dispelled that first meeting awkardness , children and adults alike are talking freely. By common consent intimate face to face hugs are avoided but OMG the sheer joy of holding a little ones hand or pushing laughing children on a swing has lifted my spirits so much.
So now on good days, being with my loved ones, sitting in a pub garden in the warm (ish) April sunshine with a coffee and good friends, I feel as if I am stepping out, emerging slowly from behind those dark lockdown walls.
On bad days , I remain restricted, constricted by doubt, unsure of the future.
Infection rates remain high across the world and new mutant variants are emerging all the time, particularly the Indian and South American ones. Vaccine politics fails into insignificance when everyone knows none of them work against these new virulent strains.
India is sinking under a soaring death rate reaching new heights globally. Yet our PM failed to cancel a planned visit until this week, failed to add India to the red list for arrivals until this week and only then for it come into effect on Friday. After that visitors will head to quarantine hotels, until then they arrive and head into the UK with only a promise of self isolation.
What use is our successful vaccine rollout and low infection rate if the now traditional mismanagement of this choatic Government leads us straight back into trouble through sheer negligence. Scientists have warning for weeks of the dangers of delay . If the India variant takes hold here who knows what will happen.
Optimists point to seasonality and stress we will have a "good summer" especially given the UKs high vaccine rate. Pessimists point to our still open borders and the presence of new strains in areas across the UK.
Both acknowledge that a bad autumn and winter is probably inevitable. Planning ahead is therefore pointless.
In January an MRI scan revealed 3 collapsed/collapsing discs in my neck which has stopped me running for good. Running was my savour during my darkest times and without it I am struggling. This is not the fault of coronavirus but everything blurs into one blob of grey.
Prince Philips death at the age of 99 last week ironically demonstrated the anomalies we are all struggling with in this nearly "post" but possibly not Covid spring.
His Covid secure funeral of 30 in the chapel looked surreal given the hundreds in the grounds ensuring the Duke was given full military honours.
The sad sight of the Queen sitting alone was a poignant image yet the vast amount of media coverage generated the most complaints the BBC has ever had. Newspaper coverage featured more the question of whether Princes William and Harry were talking to each other.
The Monarchy, so revered in the depths of the crisis of 2020, when the past gave security to the terrifying present, are not relevant in our current passion for the future. The sense of looking forward is urgent, deep seated and omnipresent.
Contemporary society is complex, covid insecure and desperate with the need to get our lives back. We may take a moment to moan but no more. Everyone is living on a knife edge of desire to step out and move forward.
